Monday, March 2, 2009

How To Lose 20 in 10

Recently I have learned how to lose 20 pounds in only 10 days and I am about to share it with you, my valued reader.  Before we go further let me say that I do not endorse this method - it is painful, uncomfortable and above all unhealthy.

Good.  Now that we have that on the sidelines let me tell you how I lost 20 lbs in only 10 days - one word - Gastroenteritis.  Gastroenteritis is a joint irritation and inflammation of the stomach and intestines that causes one to feel constantly nauseated, consistently vomit, have cramps while seeing massive amounts of watery grossness be violently thrust from your pooper.  Got the picture?  This was not fun and I am not even fully recovered yet after 10 days, but the bright side is I have managed to lose 20 pounds of my body weight, or a mere 7.5% of my total body mass.  

I am still dealing with the lingering effects of the medication I was put on to eliminate this scourge from my body.  The medication solved the queasy stomach and knocked out the virus or bacteria that caused my discomfort, but in return made me drowsy, sensitive to sunlight and unbelievably dizzy (now doesn't that sound like fun!).

In hindsight I don't know if it was the crab cakes at a business dinner just outside Philadelphia in the Desmond Hotel that gave it to me or the Krystal meal I had the next night before our regular poker game, but in the future I will be sure to avoid both at all possible cost.

I feel better now that I have written about my illness and the effects it has had on me and pray that in the next day or two I am back to my old self - just 20 pounds lighter.

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