Googling Your Girlfriend

I can't and won't take credit for this idea...I read it on another blog that I found through another blog and now I am bringing it here for you to try.

Go to Google and type in the searchbox "how to convince your girlfriend" and see the completions they recommend.  

You cannot make this stuff up!

The Value of Chips

Whether I am playing at an API event, or at a casino I always try to keep in perspective that the deeper I get into a tournament the more value my chips have, eventually getting to a point that I can put a real numeric value to them.  

For many API players this might seem crazy since the tournaments are "free", but as you get deeper in API nightly tournaments or API major tournaments the closer you get to the final 2, 3 or 8 that get prizes you can literally put a real value on your chips.  Most API players won't get this even still, so let me give a great example.  

Back in November I played in the API Quarterly at The Tavern, eventually winning the tournament.  As I got closer and closer to the final table my chips starting taking on a monetary value in my head based upon the prizes for various positions at the final table.  In the end the value of my chips was a trip to the 2009 WSOP.  Early on in the tournament my chips had little to no value since there was such a long way to go before the likelihood of winning was even possible, but as I moved through the tournament their value and the importance of preserving and gaining more became higher and higher until eventually I could put a real dollar value on them.  To be clear, no cash is awarded at API - just prizes and sponsorships - but a prize or a sponsorship cost someone somewhere something and because of this you can assess value.

Another great example is in a Sit and Go Tournament.  If the tournament started with 9 or 10 players and there are now 4 left and only 3 are paid your chips are almost worth the 3rd place cash.  On Full Tilt in a $10 tournament of 10 players that would be $20 and each subsequent position adds more value to your chips based on the prize structure.  Even if you have $1 in chips left and get pocket aces with 3 other players in the pot, but 2 are all in and one is a massive chip stack your $1 in chips is probably worth $20 - so do you play and risk getting knocked out to win $3 in chips or do you fold and stand a great chance of cashing?  Simple - YOU FOLD.  Your $1 in chips has a real value of $20 in prize money.  If you go out the value of your chips is $0.

I have come to believe that in MTT's or SnG's at casinos or API that this general philosophy is one of the key differentiators between the good players and the bad players.  Loose play early on in either type of tournament can cost you too much and deposition you for a run in the end.  You have to be in to win and without a doubt you will need to gamble and get lucky at some point if you are going to take it down, but a little understanding about the concept I explain here will definitely take you farther.

Crappy Company - Crappy Cars

All the bailouts of automakers that the U.S. Government did a while back really pissed me off - and now this from Consumer Reports to enrage me even more!

"Chrysler, which tied with Suzuki for last place in our 2008 ranking, fared even worse this year. Overall reliability of Chrysler vehicles, which was average last year, dropped to below average this year. No Chrysler, Dodge, or Jeep vehicles are recommended."

At one time in my life I worked briefly at a Dodge dealership and back then their quality was absolutely horrible.  It seems times don't change and verifies one of my core business beliefs.

Behind every crappy product is a crappy company.  

Giving Over 100%

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. Experience.

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. 

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: 
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? 
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: 

If: 
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 

Is represented as: 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. 

Then: 

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% 

And 

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% 

But , 

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% 

And, 

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% 

AND, look how far Ass Kissing will take you. 

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% 

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Purim for Idiots

I almost called this post "Purim for Dummies", but figured I had less chance getting sued by the "Idiots" guys whose books don't sell nearly as well and can usually be found on the clearance rack of your local bookstore.  Part of it seems to be the titles, which include Tattoos, Tweakers, All You Can Eat Buffets, Modeling, Astrology, etc. for Idiots.  

Maybe it is just that I am in a foul mood that I started today's blog with a jab at what I see as an omen to shear stupidity, but now to the topic at hand - what is Purim?

Purim is a Jewish holiday and yet another celebration of Jewish deliverance...this time from the hands of the Persians.  As told in the Book of Esther, the high ranking political advisor to King Ahasueres, a.k.a as Xerxes I of Persia, named Haman had hatched a plan to kill all the Jews in ancient Persia, but the plan was foiled by Esther (Ahasueres Queen) and Mordecai (another politician).  In short, Haman was a bad guy who not only wanted to kill the Jews, but also Ahasueres and in the end was hung for his treachery in a gallows he had constructed for Mordecai.

The moral to this story is simple.  Don't "F" with the Jews, not all politicians are evil (just most of them), good always triumphs over evil and never trust a guy named Haman.  We celebrate it by trading gifts of food and drink, giving charity to the poor, have a celebratory meal, wearing masks, drinking wine, and other celebratory events.  

That is why I plan on attending the Hawks game, throwing a buck to a homeless guy on the way in, eating all the free food and drink, hiding my face when we leave and fully leveraging any additional benefits of Purim that I haven't even thought of yet on my gentile friends.  

How To Lose 20 in 10

Recently I have learned how to lose 20 pounds in only 10 days and I am about to share it with you, my valued reader.  Before we go further let me say that I do not endorse this method - it is painful, uncomfortable and above all unhealthy.

Good.  Now that we have that on the sidelines let me tell you how I lost 20 lbs in only 10 days - one word - Gastroenteritis.  Gastroenteritis is a joint irritation and inflammation of the stomach and intestines that causes one to feel constantly nauseated, consistently vomit, have cramps while seeing massive amounts of watery grossness be violently thrust from your pooper.  Got the picture?  This was not fun and I am not even fully recovered yet after 10 days, but the bright side is I have managed to lose 20 pounds of my body weight, or a mere 7.5% of my total body mass.  

I am still dealing with the lingering effects of the medication I was put on to eliminate this scourge from my body.  The medication solved the queasy stomach and knocked out the virus or bacteria that caused my discomfort, but in return made me drowsy, sensitive to sunlight and unbelievably dizzy (now doesn't that sound like fun!).

In hindsight I don't know if it was the crab cakes at a business dinner just outside Philadelphia in the Desmond Hotel that gave it to me or the Krystal meal I had the next night before our regular poker game, but in the future I will be sure to avoid both at all possible cost.

I feel better now that I have written about my illness and the effects it has had on me and pray that in the next day or two I am back to my old self - just 20 pounds lighter.